Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Here comes irregular

Sports teams that you might not already know about

To me, the sports teams that people end up rooting for is a fairly clear exercise in geography. If you grew up in northern New England, you were a Red Sox and Celtics fan. If you grew up in southwestern Connecticut, you were a Yankees fan and a Giants fan. If you grew up in Cleveland, well, you were fucked no matter what.

However, there always seems to be the mass of "bandwagon" fans who start to root for a team for no other reason than that team had just won a championship. Witness the sudden outbreak of St. Louis Rams fans after Kurt Warner led them to the Super Bowl in 2000 and 2002, or the hundreds of jerk-offs wearing San Francisco 49ers jackets who would pop up every winter on the frickin' East Coast during the late '80s to mid-'90s.

What follows are the actual team logos from real teams, taken from To separate yourself from the rest of the rabble, start rooting for these teams now, before the bandwagoners can catch wind of them:

Welcome to Denny's Culiacan Tomato Growers, Mexico (baseball)

Please Stop Blaming All Of Your Personal Problems On Films Nippon Ham Fighters, Japan (baseball)

The phone never rings, my life is a drag, I'm into punk rock and I throw like a fag Flamboro Mott's Clamatos, OHA (hockey)

I fall asleep while standing and I lie awake in bed, I got those screamin' demon Martians ridin' go-karts in my head Trail Smoke Eaters, BCHL (hockey)

If you got the rubber, sister, I got the plastic, I dance how I look and I look fantastic Augusta Missing Links, GBA (basketball)

Six feet of twisted steel and sex appeal Lewiston MAINEiacs, QMJHL (hockey)

I feel I lost all feeling and I sense I lost sensation but my family doctor told me that it's just my generation Detroit Belle Tire Lightning, CEHL (hockey)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

BWAAAHAAAAHAAAA. Missing links!!!!

8/23/05, 3:08 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Yeah, but I'm still not sure in what way missing sausages are related to basketball.

8/24/05, 3:11 PM


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