Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Wu-Tang Clannad Ain't Nuthing Ta F' Wit

All the best bands are affiliated with Satan
(Search engine disclaimer: Post not actually about Wu-Tang Clan)

The other day some semi-troll on the Matador Records message board started a somewhat pointless thread about bands that have a food or beverage in their names, which I then started goofing on by posting a bunch of silly names that I made up ("Neko Quesadilla" ha ha ha... Stop it! I'm dying over here!!). It brought to mind an equally meaningless exercise that was in Chunklet 'zine many years ago, involving putting different band names together in order to create an even more annoying band name. The idea was to keep the names basically the same, though changing the spelling around to make for a better fit was okay, with extra credit being given for names that were willfully obscure and/or insulting.

The following list is result of many minutes spent thinking not doing anything useful, obviously:

Blink 182 Live Crew
Bikini Killdozer
Lynyrd SkyN.E.R.D.
Screeching Dweezil Zappa
Joan of Arcwelder

They seem to really love each other Disco Stu loves disco music
Milli Vanelly
Color Me Badd Religion
Ozzy Osbourne Against
Rodan Fogelberg
Wu-Tang Clannad
dis- Association

When Good Things Happen To Bad People Love Songs For The Retarded
India.REO Speedwagon
Soul II Soul Asylum
Kingdom Come'shell Ndegeocello
Antioch Aerosmith
Livingston Taylor Dayne
...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead Milkmen

Submitting your own examples is greatly encouraged, if however unlikely.


Blogger d-lee said...

Velocity Girls Against Boys ?

This reminds me of an exercise I did in college. We had a friend who was really into Yngwie Malmsteen. A bunch of us sat around one night for hours coming up with combinations of Yngwie or Malmsteen in conjunction with other band names to make a funny name.

On of my favorites from that exercise was Four Non-Malmsteens.

Great post!

10/13/05, 12:23 PM

Blogger d-lee said...

MMmmmmmm! Neko Case!

10/13/05, 12:24 PM

Blogger d-lee said...

Dude, "Sierra Mr. Mister" almost made me fall out of my chair. That's good shit.

10/13/05, 12:52 PM

Blogger d-lee said...

Archers of Meatloaf?

G Love and .38 Special Sauce?

I tried to post these to the Matador bulletin board, but even after registering, it wouldn't let me on.

10/13/05, 1:22 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Sorry, D-Lee; the day after the "bands that are food" thread was started, Matador closed the "General Topics" forum, saying that it was overshadowing the main purpose of the boards-- that is, to discuss and promote bands on the label.

I don't begrudge them on that one bit, and I'm hoping they won't hold it against me that I'm sending traffic in that direction. Above all else, I'd like to keep myself in the running to get a free "Matador At Fifteen" t-shirt in 5 years, y'know, when they're no longer current.

10/13/05, 1:40 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

A few more:

Puddle of Mudvayne
Mobb Deep Purple
Randy Newman or Astro-Man
Silver Judas Priest
We've Got A Fuzzbox and We're Gonna Use It's A Beautiful Day
Revolting Cock Sparrer
Fleetwood Mac Davis
Sigue Sigue Sputnikleback
The Broken Social Scene Is Now
Third Ace of Base
When People Were Shorter And Lived Near The Roger Waters

For the Yngwie Malmsteen version:

'NSync Malmsteen

10/13/05, 8:05 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Hanoi Roxette
Kurtis Blow Monkeys
Green Riverdales
Lonely Ramones
The Bee Jesus and Mary Chain

10/13/05, 8:06 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

These keep popping into my head all of the time now.

Masters of the Obvious Reality
Nevertheless Than Jake
Boogie Down Union Carbide Productions
Bad Wilco.
Head of David Hasselhoff
The Proletariat The Drive In
Septic Death of Samantha

I gotta admit, the two that D-Lee came up with (Archers of Meatloaf, G Love and .38 Special Sauce) are pretty good. Where is everyone else's?

10/13/05, 8:47 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

D-Lee has this going on now over at his site, and there have been a lot of good names submitted already.

Let's keep the ball rolling!

10/14/05, 10:35 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

PM Don Henley
Sick Of It All-4-One
The Pretty New Bad Things
Michelle Branch Manager
Bun E. Carlos Santana
The Legendary Pink Datsuns
Agnostic Front 242
Husker Doobie Brothers

10/15/05, 10:34 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

The F.Used
Eminemmett Swimming
Flaming Lipps Inc.
The Celibate Rifle Sport
Pentagram Parsons
The Velvet Strike Underground

10/21/05, 10:16 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Mercyful Fates Warning
Ted Days of the Nugent
Mars Bullet LaVolta
Schooly D-Generation
No Means No Doubt

10/22/05, 4:36 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Rob Zom Beatles
Steppen Guitar Wolf
Mick Fleetwood's Zoogz Rift
Today Is The Doris Day

11/12/05, 9:38 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Local H.P. Zinker
Couch Flambeau Bice

12/29/05, 7:26 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Belouis Sum 41

Also, an extension of the Bee Gees/Jesus and Mary Chain one, from earlier:

Bee Jesus and Mary Chain Gang of Four Non-Blonde Redhead of David Cassidy Snider

3/27/06, 8:46 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Before the Matador message board thread from '05 gets erased, I figured I'd save the names that I came up with and post them here, since most of them still crack me up.

The theme was, "Bands with a food or beverage in their names":

Salt 'n' Dr. Pepper
Chef Boy-ar-Dee-Lite
New Kids on the Block of Cheese
Jefferson Air Plain Bagel
The Jam
Steeleye Spam
The Moody Blueberries
Fleetwood Big Mac
Barry Mani Low Fat Yogurt
Wayne Fig Newton
Harvey Milk
Taco (alternately: Taco Belle and Sebastian)
Radiohead of Lettuce
Dinosaur Whopper Jr.
Dan Fogelburger
Sierra Mr. Mister
Prisonshake 'n' Bake
ZZ Top o' the Muffin
Pixie Styx
Early Manwich
Neko Quesadilla

4/12/07, 8:19 PM


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