Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

It's A Slaughter!

Don't you guys think Led Zeppelin would have been better if I had been their singer? Robert Plant SUCKS!
Clockwise from top: Joe Rullier, Doug Nolan, Tim Jackman, Petr Kanko

The Hartford Wolf Pack crushed the Manchester Monarchs earlier today in Manchester, 7-0, to knot their best-of-seven first round playoff series at two games each. Game Five will be held on Tuesday night at the Hartford Civic Center.

Colby Genoway led the scoring for Hartford with a 5-point night (2 goals, 3 assists), with Nigel Dawes scoring 2 goals and 2 assists and defenseman Marvin Degon collecting 3 assists. Brandon Dubinsky, who had only just joined the Wolf Pack straight out of junior hockey on Wednesday, put forth a great effort (judging by the Chicken Hawk's radio call, with Chris Holt also in the booth), notching 2 goals and 2 assists while playing on Hartford's top line alongside Dawes and Genoway.

The first fight of the night came 20 seconds after the Wolf Pack had scored to make it 2-0, as the Monarchs' Tim Jackman was possibly looking to give his team a lift just as Dave Liffiton had done for Hartford in the previous game. Instead, Craig Weller dispatched Jackman fairly easily, crossing Jackman up by switching between rights and lefts. Martin Grenier and Doug Nolan also fought, in the third period with about 7 minutes left, but by then the game had long been put away.

Radiohead? Those motherfuckers never played a good riff in their lives!
Martin Grenier and Konstantin Pushkarev (Heather Sperrazza/HWP photo)

Manchester has yet to win a playoff series in their 5-year history, despite having some pretty good teams. And so, despite this series being far from over, the comically suicidal fair-weather Monarchs fans are already calling for their coach's immediate firing and threatening not to renew their season's tickets, just like they do after every loss during the regular season.

Of course, Hartford's fans have a far less manic internet presence:

"Dewey (Helminen) is so fucking gay. Jake Taylor owns a Jessica Simpson CD. One day Hugh Jessiman clogged the toilet on the teams bus and had to pay 200 dollars to get it fixed. They called him 'huge specimen' in college."

If the person who wrote the above comic masterpiece isn't a perfectly suitable candidate to be the Manchester Monarchs' coach for their next game, then I don't have a clue who is.

11 Comments:

Anonymous fredorov fredburgerov said...

Ordinary F-Up didn't hear anything. They are simply copying stuff from the player profiles which are posted on the Hartford Wolf*Pack Booster club Website.

4/24/06, 1:34 AM

 
Blogger Brushback said...

Sure-- like I'm going to believe that anyone reads the HWPBC web site.

They have player profiles on there telling people that Hugh Jessiman backed up the bus toilet with a huge specimen?

Wow!

4/24/06, 10:05 AM

 
Blogger Brushback said...

I changed the order of identification for the header photo, because I decided that the guy furthest to the back with the puss on his face looked more like Joe Rullier.

4/24/06, 7:55 PM

 
Anonymous i_love_balej said...

I think a lot of people visit and read the booster club website. Personally I find it to be one of the best non-Russian hockey web-sites in cyberspace.

4/24/06, 10:21 PM

 
Blogger Brushback said...

No way!!

4/24/06, 11:38 PM

 
Anonymous prickly pear said...

"I think a lot of people visit and read the booster club website. Personally I find it to be one of the best non-Russian hockey web-sites in cyberspace."


This shit can't be for real.

4/25/06, 12:15 PM

 
Anonymous fredorov fredburgerov said...

I am president of the Moscow Dynamo Booster Club.

4/25/06, 1:13 PM

 
Anonymous G12 said...

Funny look at all the Dynamo bandwagon fans i hope you burn in hell

4/25/06, 1:28 PM

 
Blogger Brushback said...

i hope you burn in hell

That might not be a good idea, seeing as he sits right next to you.

4/25/06, 10:15 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This will be the farthest the Monarchs have gone in a playoff series YET! I am hoping to see the Wolfpack on the golf course Sunday afternoon!

4/28/06, 12:36 PM

 
Blogger Brushback said...

This will be the farthest the Monarchs have gone in a playoff series YET!

Hey, Whalers fans-- show the Monarchs how to put on a parade for reaching Game Seven!

4/28/06, 12:53 PM

 

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