Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Next Stop Nowhere

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn’t work. As soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality
Chris Holt (Chris Rutsch photo)

The Hartford Wolf Pack rolled to their second straight pre-season win last night, for whatever that's worth, beating the Springfield Falcons in Springfield, 5-3. Chris "Five" Holt staked the Falcons to an early 2-0 lead, allowing goals on the first two shots he faced, but he nevertheless played solidly after that. Lee Falardeau, who'd impressed no one up til now this pre-season, made up for it a bit by sparking Hartford's comeback with two third-period goals, the first one coming on a strong individual effort when Falardeau stole the puck in the Springfield zone and crashed in hard towards the net.

This game was even more than your typical trip to Springfield, the city that time forgot after about 1981 or so. For starters, the Falcons were filming a TV commercial at the game for their new slogan, "Big Time Fun!". Based upon an almost laughable premise that makes the arena's Jumbotron a part of the sales pitch ("Big city, big building, big screen"), the commercial is built around a shot of a section full of fans cheering on the Falcons and then screaming in unison, "Big time fun!" Not a bad idea, although they literally had to ask the whole building to move into one section in order to create a supposedly "candid" shot of a lens-ful of people having fun at a Falcons game. The sight of a few Springfield fans proclaiming themselves "big time" while the rest of the building around them lay dark and empty was enough irony for me for one day.

I don’t have a microwave but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit
The Falcons' in-game MC, Shaggy. What the fuck's with this guy?

One cool thing the Falcons have this year is a drum section in the mezzanine above Section 20. There was a group of about 5 or 6 percussionists that would start jamming out during breaks in the game action, sorta like at a college football game. A lot further down on the coolness scale is longtime Falcons' MC "Shaggy", a local FM radio fop who seems to think he's a Scooby Doo character, complete with That 70's Hair. I know that the Wolf Pack's own in-game MC, Damon Squat, is also a disc jockey, but at least Damon's career wouldn't be threatened by a pair of scissors.

The Falcons have a defenseman named Dufresne, so whenever he'd have the puck I'd amuse myself by shouting out "Dufresne, party of two. Dufresne, party of two. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing!" You're not alone-- no one sitting near me seemed to get the joke, either.