Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Talk Like The Hawk

Hartford Wolf Pack fans have been treated to the "wicky wacky" radio calls of the Chicken Hawk, Bob Crawford, for going on ten years now. Now everyone can experience the Hawk's announcing style-- full of pregnant pauses and every sports cliché in the book, where goals are "tucks" and assists are "helpers", and with Bob's voice rising until it sounds like he's on helium during the really tense moments of games-- thanks to the Wolf Pack's new "10 Years... 1 Mission" web site, which has a full page of audio clips from years' past.

Bob also writes regularly for the Rangers and Wolf Pack web sites, and like I said, the Hawk has every cliché in the book at his disposal. Read and learn:

"He is always game for a tango, and he had some excellent tilts during his time with the Wolf Pack"

"The team could not translate their territorial advantage into notches on the scoreboard"

"The Pack have to be hoping that Stirling will not be able to recreate his anti-Wolf Pack magic on the Pack's northern flank"

"Hopefully that portends a much better second season for the big Nutmeg State product, a super friendly dude who makes it easy to root for him"

"If that's true, it hasn't penetrated the sand surrounding my head as of yet"

"I remember thinking several times during that series that wow, no matter who wins this, neither team should hang their head for a second because they are both absolutely playing their hearts out!"

"The parent Rangers have their 'Czech Mates', and maybe Czech natives Petruzalek and Bahensky can mirror some of that mojo here in the AHL"

"After a two-week, vacation-induced absence from scribbling in this space, I am back in the offseason watchtower, and it has been an eventful span of time since the last emptying of my notebook"

"Montoya did that as well as you're ever going to see anybody do on those two testers"

"Lanky Kazakh (or is that kanky Lazakh?) goaltender Vitaly Kolesnik"

"I think the key factor there is the real plethora of players that are property of the Rangers and the need to have slots for those guys to play"

"His first lamplighter, and it certainly was nice to see the friendly Darien-ite get the monkey off his back"

"Gilbert was so perturbed by his team’s performance, though, he sent them back out for a no-pucks lung-burner"

"He really ups the bang-and-crash quotient of the team, and maybe he could entice the Rangers to keep him for some extra jam on right wing"

"Who has been more of a disher on the Pack man-advantage unit for the most part"

"He recently confirmed for public consumption that he will continue as bench boss for a second season"

"This was a contentious affair after the blowout the night before, featuring several hits that those on the receiving end felt were ungentlemanly, and even a spirited exchange of views between the two coaching staffs at the end of the first period"

"They showed decidedly more collective jump coming out of the gate"

"I'm sure he was miffed, but the 20-year-old showed some good moxie"

"The Pack refused to be cowed by the reversal of fortune... The ship was righted and all would be well. The harbinger of another shift of the tide, however... made one wonder if there wasn't one more karmic shift on the horizon"

"A couple of bits of statistical arcana"

I couldn't find the quote where Bob refers to the Wolf Pack team bus as "the iron lung", but trust me, it's out there.


Anonymous quint said...

Week in Review 15 November 2004

The Pack have been enjoying plenty of home cooking throughout the season's first four weeks, and now Friday's game in Portland starts a stretch of five straight road games. We'll see if a little time in the ol' "Iron Lung" gets the team back to its winning ways.

Week in Review 31 Jan 2005

Last week was quite the Magical Mystery Tour by Wolf Pack standards, comprised of a nine-hour bus ride to Norfolk on Tuesday, five more hours in the Iron Lung to Philadelphia after Wednesday's game, a quick postgame jaunt from Philly to Hershey on Friday night, and a ride of four more hours to Bridgeport immediately after the Saturday game. We here in the Atlantic Division get pretty soft travel-wise, so it was good to get a little bit of a taste of how the other half of the league lives.

10/19/06, 8:35 PM

Blogger Brushback said...

Thanks, "Quint"...

(I cleaned up the links because the column margins were getting thrown off)

10/19/06, 8:37 PM


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