Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Friday, July 20, 2007

We're Number Two or Three But We Don't Try Any Harder

Male models Boris The Sprinkler

A few things that are fairly useless to know, but I'm putting 'em out there anyway:

1) Sick Teen was the greatest 'zine of the '80s, if not ever.
2) "Saucer To Saturn" is just about my favorite punk rock CD of the '90s.
3) If I'm not the only hockey blogger who owned an original copy of the Suburban Mutilation LP, then I feel sorry for that other guy.

I tried making a scan of the "Saucer to Saturn" lyric sheet, since it's always best to listen to Boris the Sprinkler when you can figure out the hysterical stuff that Rev. Norb is singing about, but CD booklets are a bit small and all I got was this somewhat unreadable blob. Tough luck, Schleprock.

The only other thing I have to offer is the review that ran in Brushback of "Saucer to Saturn", written in 1995:

This one's got more hits than the "Flashdance" soundtrack, plus it's almost twice as long*... Delivers the goods faster than Steve Howe serves up three-run homers. Includes the famous line, "My phone never rings and my life is a drag, I'm into punk rock and I throw like a fag," which has become somewhat of a motto around Brushback headquarters. Even funnier than that Bob and Doug McKenzie album that sold millions, but with three more actual songs.

Speaking of which-- I still have an original '95-vintage Boris The Sprinkler t-shirt, and here's a photo to prove it:

Click to enlarge

Now that's a shirt that gets chicks alright.

Ah, yes-- the CD (crank it up):

No I Don't Care About You Yeah (listen)
Worm (listen)
I Wanna Get To Third Base With You
Sidewalk Sidewalk Yeah Yeah Yeah
(Do You Wanna) Grilled Cheese? (listen)
(She Must Not Suspect) I Dig Her
Ejector Seat
Destination Saturn
Screamin' Demon Martians Ridin' Go-Karts In My Head (listen)
I Object
Superball Eyes
Weird Tattoo
Goddamn Rollerbladers (listen)

*The fifteenth track on "Saucer to Saturn" is the entire 28-minute CD replayed again all the way through. Funny, ha ha.

Actually, one other thing I have is an interview that I did with Rev. Norb on the day after Cal Ripken broke Lou Gehrig's record. Maybe someday I'll post it here...

Songs have reverted to listen-only files



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ye-es! For all the arguments that can be made for this being a novelty band (and uh, THEY ARE a novelty band) all that goes out with window with SAUCER TO SATURN. Channeling THE MEATMEN this motherrecord is more METAL than POP and more PUNK than SID VICIOUS. Fucker smokes! I ditched all the other LP's when I turned 18... kept the singles and continually play this record at least once a month while high on Pabst.

Every track is a winner. The production fucking rocks (was Simple Studios a real entity or a some garage in Manitowoc?). For ex/ Ejector Seat -- who turned the fucking knobs on that one??? The repeat-the-goddamn-cd-as-the-last-track thingy is genius! Lyrics are fucking ANGRY NERD (You're a worm! I feel like Richard Speck, I'd like to see a nurse! <---[single-handedly the best line I've ever heard] Batman! Boner! Toner! I aaaah-bject! Etc! Etc!)! Music shreds! It's like the best parts of Melvin's Houdini (N0rb would fucking hate that comparision but it's true!) all rolled up into a RN'R assault on asshole. They never fucking topped themselves after this. Turned into a bloated PARODY of a PARODY band! (GAY was SOOO GAY! SUCK fuckin' SUKKKED! ANAL totally STUNK!)

Anyway, it's good. You should listen to it.

NOTE: Despite the style I've decided to adopt for this writing, I'm not N0rb. I'm Richard Meltzer.

3/7/08, 4:56 PM

Blogger Tigerblood79 said...

Man if you could upload this somewhere that would be the sweetest thing. I had it on cassette from the lp which I recorded in Detroit 12 years ago, and the tape is completely worn out. I'd go out and buy it, but I haven't the money to spare. I haven't bought anything for 2 or 3 years, it'd be really nice to have this, all my friends and I used to listen it religiously.

10/18/08, 3:54 PM

Blogger Tigerblood79 said...

My email is if you can hook me up, it'd mean the world.

10/18/08, 3:55 PM


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